Journey

I’ve never been a trophy hunter or an achievement hoarder, but I loved Shadow of the Colossus on PS2 so much that I thought I’d finally challenge myself to get that platinum trophy in the high definition remastered version of SotC. Smooth framerate, crisp polygons and somewhat disturbingly blurry textures. Still, it’s one of the games that really have an impact on you.

In case you have no idea what Shadow of the Colossus is, let me enlighten you. It is a Japanese game where you step into the shoes of a young man called Wanderer in a desolate land. To bring back life the girl you love, the gods ask you to kill 16 colossi, massive creatures that have been slumbering in the land until you’ve come to disturb their rest. Doesn’t sound so bad, right? Well, you’re only armed with a sword and a bow. Plus you do get a horse to get around with quickly.

I remember Shadow of the Colossus being somewhat hard on the PS2 when I played it as an early teen, but it was never unfair. Even on the hard difficulty you could still juggle yourself on the colossi vital spots and treat them as pincushions. The hardest part was discovering the vital spots and how to climb to them. Not anymore.

Turns out that something else was tweaked as well as the game was remastered, or maybe it is just the smoother framerate and the better processing power of PS3, but Wanderer seems to have a lot more difficulty in holding himself still on the colossi as they wave and shake trying to get you off. The worst colossi are the Gaius (3rd) and Argus (15th) whose tiniest movement seem to set Wanderer flailing like he’s been drinking more than just juice.

In regular singleplayer campaign the problem is manageable, though it’s a bit tedious having to rest all the time between attacks. It’s in Time Attacks that you will be begging for mercy. I’ve passed every Time Attack challenge but the 3rd and 15th. They require near-perfect execution even if the colossi weren’t shaking like they’ve got disco fever. Yes, I’ve successfully done the sword launch to both the head and the arm. I get him to bend over like a bitch, but still the belly and head are impossible.

Also to get the platinum trophy, you need to kill all white-tailed lizards (77) and collect all the fruits (128) in the game. It’s tedious, but doable. BUT DAMN YOU SON IF YOU ACCIDENTALLY HIT A WHITE-TAILED LIZARD’S TAIL BY ACCIDENT AND DON’T KILL THE BASTARD WITHOUT NOTICING IT. The lizard runs off, you fetch the tail and think that it’s all done. Yay. However, you didn’t kill the lizard, and after killing the last one, you can only wonder which one of the 77 lizards it was because the trophy didn’t unlock. Still, I could live with that, but the #3 and #15 Hard Time Attacks are just impossibru.

Still, it’s a great game, just don’t bother going for the platinum trophy, you will swear with words you didn’t even know you had heard before time running out as Gaius does the belly dance.

Fuck you Team Ico for never patching this game!

P.S. So many typos I don’t even want to correct them all.